that's an acceptable place to lick
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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