dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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