I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
