Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize