I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
