How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
