Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
