Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize