I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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