Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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