Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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