when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
