We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dear god my vagina.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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