no you cant smoke seaweed
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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