Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
