Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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