i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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