You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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