i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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