i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
