Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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