I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
