He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
third nipple confirmed
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
