smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
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She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
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Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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