Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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