Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We're too hungover to prance.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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