Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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