So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
