I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
