so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
