Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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