those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
