What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
