Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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