hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
it hurts more in the daytime
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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