Only a mothe r could love this liver
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
