I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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