i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize