BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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