Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
