can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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