I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize