Plan B is the new Plan A
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
