based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize