if you like me you must not know who I am
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
