I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
