1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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