oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
