quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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