he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You have to summon your inner elephant
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
