at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
