I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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