I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
