just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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