i don't like sucking hair
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
