brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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