time to smoke my breakfast
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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