The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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