I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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