just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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