i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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