Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
