Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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