i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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