I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
