i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
