Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
