I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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