I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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