Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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